I just wanna get deep and personal with you today on a topic that has plagued me since I was 11.
Now if you don't want to hear me get emotional and hear about my self esteem issues then you can leave if you want. But I know that self esteem plummets around puberty for both guys and girls so it is a major issue.
So the first time I started to feel uncomfortable in my skin was when I was 11. I was around 160-165 cm high and weighed 50kg and I thought I was really overweight because I was bigger than the 5 ft girls in my grade. My cousin, who I love dearly, told me to get on the scales and weigh myself and promised she would hop on after. So up flashed my weight in big BOLD numbers and all I saw was FAT!! So my cousin didn't hop on the scales afterwards which made me feel even worse because I felt betrayed and I thought she would use this knowledge and tell all the girls at school. I was never a popular girl at my old school. I was the tag along and this made my self-esteem plummet even more. When I look back at this memory I laugh and wish I was still 50kg even though that wouldn't be a healthy weight for me because when I look in the mirror, I feel disgusted.
So now I am 17, almost an adult, and I still hate my body. Some days I feel gorgeous but then I see a picture someone took of me and all I see is a chubby girl with a double chin, flabby arms, potbelly and cellulite. I weigh around 70kg and it probably doesn't make it better that I hang out with girls who are 55kg, 5ft 4 (compared to my 5 ft 7) and who are extremely active. Yeah I might make excuses to not exercise e.g. I get self-conscious about people watching me exercise and I have weak knees, but that doesn't mean I haven't tried. For 3 weeks, in the holidays, I would get up at 5:30am and go for an hour long walk/jog, get home and have a healthy yoghurt, walnut oatmeal and drink tonnes of water. But as soon as school got back I stopped because I didn't have the time. Waking up at 5:30 felt so good! No one was up to see this hippo running! But the eating healthy stopped because, when you live in a family of 7, it just got a bit expensive to be eating completely different food to the others.
When I calculate my BMI (Body Mass Index) it says that I am a healthy weight BUT I see that I am in the 82nd percentile and healthiness stops at the 85th percentile so I need to lose some weight!
I know how you feel whether you are male or female and are struggling with your weight because although I may not be considered unhealthy I am not happy in my body and I will always support others who aren't comfortable in their own skin!
So if you guys are going through self-esteem issues and you just want someone to talk to, I am here and will always support you!
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Love you all,
Stay Positive xoxo
Immy Minette
